It is February, so I thought it fitting to focus on the affairs of the heart. To be emotive is to be human, but many people struggle to understand their emotions. Why is this? It is because emotions are always changing based on what you are experiencing in the moment, and often you have many emotions happening at one time. When things are going great in your life the ability to process emotions may not seem as important because feelings of joy, peace and contentment make you feel good. However, the shadow side of theses emotions can activate fear, anxiety and grief which can feel debilitating. Not sure about you, but no one ever sat me down an explained how I could process my emotions in a healthy way, so I had to figure it out on my own. Well to be fair, I have had some very good counseling, but I have done a lot of processing on my yoga mat and through meditation and prayer. However, nothing prepared me for the loss of my mom and best friend, Billie who passed a year ago. So, for the sake of this post I decided to tackle the shadow side of emotions and to lend some recommendations on how to deal with the darkness.
When emotions leave you feeling uncomfortable, there are many default tendencies that can get activated. Busyness, numbing out, detaching and blaming are a few coping tendencies that you might recognize. However, there is a healthier way.
So, I humbly share my thoughts about dealing with grief.
|1. First, you don’t have to battle life’s challenges alone. Reach out for help and count on the right people to show-up, because they will.|
2. Give yourself time to process through difficult situations by being kind and patient with yourself.
3. Don’t minimize your sadness. Give yourself permission to grieve your loss.
4. Embrace and talk about your emotions because they are important to feel and process.
5. Don’t erase memories or try and rewrite the script. Accept situations as they are and lean into what you had, rather than what you lost.
6. Celebrating all that was good will eventually help the painful memories fade. They will never be completely gone, but more memories of joy will begin to replace them.
7. Have courage, faith and hope, because you will get to the other side, where you may feel fractured, but you won’t be broken.
8. If you have lost someone you loved, take intentional opportunities to honor their memory, and let their love live on in your heart and their character influence the way you live your life. Loved one’s may be physically gone but they live on through you, so live life the way you know they would want you to.
To experience grief and sadness is human, but to have compassion for yourself is critical.
There is actually a process to grieving, so if you are interested in learning more click this article, What you Should Know about the Stages of Grief. It will serve as a good source of information if you or someone you know is experiencing a loss. Learning how to process emotions in a healthy way is important because how you feel impacts the quality of your life.
|Terrie Elizabeth Reeves|
Empower Health America, LLC
Coach, Author and Presenter
Creator of the Train for Life Method
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